Question 3

Is my heart too calloused and hardened for God to use me?

First of all, yes I skipped question 2 on purpose. The answer was very specific and personal. In the great words of Forest Gump, "That's all I gotta say about thayat." As for this question, it really stemmed from a lot of things that happened this summer. I just sensed that throughout the summer, I had become more blunt and more hardened rather than seasoned with grace and pliable by God. Here's my answer:

This is a ridiculous question, for I know that even if my heart were calloused and I turned away, God would still be able to use me. Look at Pharaoh and Nebuchadnezzar. I suppose the real question is if I will be humble enough to want to be used by God, or will I continue to be stubborn. I've been walling myself up with the burdens of others, while still casting mine upon Him like Matthew 11:28-30 says to. However, I have let a root of bitterness spring up within me. I am biased against those who I sense or feel as "weak." Reality is: I am weak. 

I need to humble myself before the mighty hand of God so that He may exalt me (James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:6). Also, I need to remember that Jesus is in each of my brothers and sisters. I need to remember that God has shown me so much grace that I cannot refuse to show grace to others. The answer really comes in 1 Timothy 1:5 (what I briefly was able to read) 

"The aim of our charge is to love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."

My heart needs to be pure and my conscience needs to be clear. I know that I have been dragging guilt about wherever I go because of my sin, and I need to offer that up to God. Romans Chapter 8. Need I say more?

Inadvertently, I answered question #7 as well with this answer. See the original post here.

Question 1

Will I ever be free of the sin of my own heart?

This was my first question, and I'm glad I asked it first. The whole summer I had been struggling with pride and selfishness and a whole other myriad of sin that had hindered my relationship with God and with people in so many ways. In a sense, I was just "fed-up" with my flesh, so I searched the scriptures and this is what I found:

In a sense, I will never be rid of this sin nature. Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Later on in Romans 5, God's word says that we have all been cursed with sin, however, at the same time through Christ we have righteousness. I know that I will never be free from my sin nature (not until Heaven, at least). This is absolutely clear to anyone who reads the scriptures, lives a life interacting with others, and is humble enough to be sensitive and submissive to Christ's Spirit.
With my particular sin that I struggle with, I need to trust and believe what Paul writes by the Holy Spirit in Romans 6:6 

"We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin."

Later still, he speaks of being slaves and bondslaves to Christ and His righteousness. So in all, I know that it is possible to see victory sin in my life because I trust the scriptures to be 100% TRUTH, and it says that I can be a slave to righteousness instead of sin.

See the original post here.

Some Questions of the Heart

There I was, sitting in Starbucks. Contemplating all of the heavy issues that had arisen over the course of the summer of LINC. It was the last Sunday Sabbath we would have while at LINC, so I took the time to just get away and read (or that was the plan, at least). As I started reading 1 Timothy, I couldn't even finish the first chapter without God really pressing that there were some loaded questions that I had to work out. So, I did. 

The Friday before this particular Sunday, we had church. The teaching by Mark Trujillo was simply a summary of the summer teachings to keep the vision in front of us. Well, there was one particular question that stuck out to me:

"Has there been a burden too heavy to carry alone this summer?"

I couldn't think of one. I knew that I had been bearing others' burdens with them, because that is what we are called to do in Galatians 6:2. However, was I being prideful and not letting others help me with my burdens? Trust me, I had a lot of them this summer. Immediately I thought: Have I become less gracious this summer? Has this summer hardened my heart? Have I focused so much on myself that I have forgotten about the growth of others?

With these questions swimming through my mind that Sunday, it's no wonder that I couldn't just read the Word and relax for the last time. The reason I was reading 1 Timothy in the first place is because I had not been a good example of a godly man lately. I was calloused and hardened towards others over a game... A GAME. I was sickened with myself because of times like then. Seriously, God had some questions for me to answer by His word. Here are the questions:

1. Will I ever be free of the sin of my own heart?
2. Will I ever be ready for marriage?
3. Is my heart too calloused and hardened for God to use me?
4. Is Charlotte God's desire for me?
5. Am I looking to God first for my provision and rest to carry my burden?
6. Is this really what God wants for my life to be able to glorify Him the most with this life He's given me?
7. What are some healthy habits to be practicing grace towards others?

Now these questions were personal, and very close to my heart. With that said, I wanted to use these questions to share just a piece of my heart with you guys by answering them. Just click on the question, and it should take you to the answers.

A Different Season

So right now I'm in quite a different season than I am used to. I am back in Jacksonville, NC raising support so I may be able to be long-term part-time staff in Charlotte on the church plant.

I will honestly admit that this is kind of a struggle, because I truly desire to simply move to Charlotte and raise support from there while helping out with the church. I want to be with the new students who don't know Jesus and introduce them. I want to be with those lost Christians on UNC-Charlotte's campus who are looking for fellowship. I want to be with Keegan, David, Amy, Renee, and Bekah. So many wants...

...But alas, I know that this season is really pivotal if I want to do any of those things long-term. I'm trusting God's wisdom through my elders and other pastors throughout our region who have lived the life of Ministry Team Development and are now running hard for Christ in different places.

As Paul writes in Philippians 3:14 "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Ultimately, I simply want the Great Commission to be fulfilled within my lifetime. Haha, I just wrote simply. Yeah, it IS simple. Simply sow the gospel wherever you go!

In other news, I've been reading through a psalm a day, so why not share what I have been gleaning from the word of God?

Psalm 40 was a solid reminder of who God is and what He is capable of. Verses 5-6 stuck out particularly to me. 5 not only talks about God's wondrous deeds, but tells of how David will "proclaim and tell them." I love the picture of God's mission heart all throughout the Bible, and the psalms are great reminders of that. Verse 6 just reminded me of the different times and ways God emphasizes that He wants our hearts: All of me. 

Also, Keegan and Amy have been through some cool changes lately, look at Keegan's blog here.